Bleeding Hearts
by FirstLove15
Summary: (DELENA)My take on what happens after the latest episode. Tons of Delena. A new girl comes in who has her eye on Damon. Jealous Elena time. "The cure" will be found and used one more then one vampire and a super big surprise for later! I suck at summaries so please just read and enjoy. :D
1. Chapter 1

Misery. The thirst for blood is misery. There was no relief for me. Only varying degrees of unadulterated hunger that clawed at me with hate. I was spiraling into darkness and I felt nothing but absolute defeat. I told Stefan the night before that I didn't think I would survive living like this. As usual his outstanding hope shot down my fear but only for a fleeting moment and the defeat and hopelessness took hold of me once more.

I sat at the kitchen table before school gripping a bagel in my hand and trying to will my body to crave it once more. I stared at it, taking in the tiniest details of the seeds that topped it. I tried to picture the time before turning when I craved regular food. I took a small bite and began chewing. I could have been eating cotton. It was no different. I swallowed it reluctantly and felt tears stinging my eyes. I knew that I could sit there all day and choke down my body weight in food but it would make no difference. There would still be the hunger. My hell. I became suddenly enraged and threw the bagel and it hit with an echoing bang and a fresh dent in the drywall.

"Elena, you okay?" Jeremy stood in the doorway, his brows creased with worry. A look I was beginning to get tired of seeing from him.

"No, Jeremy. I'm NOT okay. I'm starving." I said laying my forehead on the table and gripping the edges so hard I could feel my nails digging into the wood. The images began to flood my mind again. The party the night before. The taste of blood pooling into my mouth. The feeling of absolute euphoria but still hungry. Always hungry. I felt the ache in my gums as my fangs began to push through.

"Drink from me." Jeremy said walking to me. Before Jeremy took another step I jumped out of my chair and through myself to the other side of kitchen, as far away from Jeremy as I could get. He froze in his tracks.

"No! No! Don't you ever say that again, Jeremy!" I could barely get the words out.

"Why is it okay for Matt and not for me?"

"You're my brother."

He began mumbling on about being worried about me all the time but I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying anymore. The sound of his heart beat was too loud and the sound of the blood coursing through his veins became louder than the rush of a river.

"Jeremy just go to school."

He sighed and shook his hand. He turned to walk to the door.

"Aren't you coming?" He asked looking back to see that I wasn't following him.

I laughed out of frustration. "Do I look like I need to be in a crowd right now, Jeremy?"

After Jeremy left I sat trying to deal with the wave of guilt I felt for being so hard on Jeremy. One thing was for sure. Emotions being heightened as a vampire was in no way, a joke. I barely recognized myself as a person anymore. I laughed too loud, I cried too hard and I was angry most of the time.

The sound of my phone buzzing next to me snapped me out of my racing thoughts. It was Stefan. His voice sounded thick with worry as I told him that I couldn't make it to school. He told me to come to the house. I got to the boarding house a little to quick for traffic law but luckily I didn't get pulled over. The hunger was wrecking inside of me and I knew that any officer that pulled me over would be giving more than a ticket.

I got through the house swiftly and up to Stefan's room. I didn't want to admit to myself that I was trying to avoid Damon, but I knew it was true. I also didn't want to admit that since my transition, if it hand't have been for Damon, I would have already given up. Stefan was trying his best for me but between his denial that I'm a little out of control and the fact that when it comes to blood he is already standing on a tightrope, trying not to fall...it's been a little difficult for him to really be there with me. As long as I'm keeping a brave face he seems to do fine but when it gets messy...Damon is there in the darkest hour trying pull me back. As amazing as Damon had been for me though, he was also a nightmare for me to be around. It didn't matter what I did, the strongest emotions come pouring out of me anytime he was around. Constantly reminding me that no matter what kind of friction I ever had with him, that I was just like him. I also knew that If I had any chance of surviving being a vampire it was going to be in Damon's hands. Damon was a dangerous, beautiful thing that haunted me every second.

"I should have never agreed to let you go with Damon." I sat on the bed watching Stefan pace the floor in front of me. "It was a huge mistake. I told you that once you were introduced to his way of feeding it would cause problems."

"Stefan we tried your way first, remember? You can't really blame him. That's the problem. Nothing is working for me. I couldn't keep down animal blood, or bagged blood. Not even Damon's..." I stopped mid sentence wishing I could take back the last few words that now hung in the air between us. I knew that me drinking from Damon was something Stefan would never be able to let go of. Judging by the look of hot anger on Stefan's face, I knew that to be a fact.

"Well we have to do something. We'll figure it out. Everything is going to be fine Elena." He said running his fingers through his hair out of frustration.

"I don't think it is Stefan."

"Yes. It is." He said again.

I was so tired of Stefan trying to force a sense of hope that wasn't there. I felt like he hadn't heard a word I had said.

He sat down on the bed next to me.

"Hey." He said taking my face in his hands. "I love you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He said leaning in and kissing me softly.

"I think you're a little too late for that, brother." Damon said suddenly standing in the doorway. "You let her drown, remember?" He grinned sarcastically.

"What do you want, Damon?" Stefan sighed.

"Hey, I'm sorry I interrupted your greeting card pep talk but for some reason Klaus is standing in our living room asking for you." Damon tossed back the last of the scotch he had in his glass and crossed the room to pour another at Stefan's desk.

"Klaus? Why is he here?" I asked.

"Yeah, weren't we just trying to kill him like a month ago?" Damon poured another glass of scotch and brought it over to me. He did it wordlessly. Knowing without asking that I needed it. I took it and all but chugged it down.

"You didn't seem to mind pairing up with him to go after the hunter." Stefan challenged Damon.

Damon half smiled. "I guess that's fair. Now why don't you inform us on what you're doing." Damon crossed his arms over his chest. I could sense a small rise in anger in Damon. He couldn't handle plans made behind his back. I pressed my lips together trying not to laugh out loud about his frustration. I would be happy when these acute attacks of over bearing laughter would stop coming on, along with the tears and the anger.

"I had dinner with Rebecca and Klaus last night. We discussed some things about the hunters and today were looking more into it." Stefan explained. The fact that he was hiding something was practically screaming at us in the silence.

"I'm sorry. I'm still waiting for the part where you tell me what the hell is going on." Damon snapped.

"Damon, for now, let me just take care of this, okay? Trust me." Stefan said. He looked over at me. "Please just trust me."

I nodded and Damon sighed in frustration. Holding his hand out for the glass I was holding. "I don't know what stupid plan you have concocted brother but it better be good. What ever you need to look into you better do it quick and maybe just don't come back till you can share with the rest of the class." Damon slammed the glass on the desk and then was quickly gone from the room.

"Stefan, whatever is going on just please be careful. Dealing with Klaus has never been the best for any of us." I said.

"I know. I'll explain everything later I just...need to find out more." Stefan said. "I have to get going but I'll be back later tonight. I'm really sorry to be leaving you, I know you're having a rough day." Stefan voice lowered apologetically.

"Don't be sorry. Just be careful. I love you, Stefan."

Stefan left and I laid back on the bed. I tried to fall asleep but the hunger came back even worse as I was surrounded by silence. I got up to see what Damon was doing. Avoiding Damon wasn't worth it. I needed any kind of distraction I could get. I found him downstairs standing in front of the fire place.

"I'm sorry about last night." He said without turning around. "I shouldn't have thrown you into so much at one time." He said. I walked up beside him. " I just wanted to see some joy on your face. No matter what the cost."

"Don't be sorry. You were just trying to help me. I'm just starting to think I'm beyond help." I said, looking at him standing next to me. His face, masked by the golden light of the fire seemed to harden up.

"Maybe." He said so quietly, that a human would never have heard it.

I felt the tears coming again. He turned to face me.

"But maybe not. Being a vampire blows, Elena. You just have to do what you have to do to survive. The only thing stopping you is ...you...and that naggy compassion of yours." He smiled lightly.

I watched his smile fade as our eyes locked. That feeling of electricity that I always got around him, mixed with a giddy excitement began to rise in me and I looked away from him, back to the fire. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look back to the fire as well. For the first time in what felt like an eternity I thought of that night at the hotel. When we kissed. I wondered what would have happened if Jeremy hadn't have caught us. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to clear my head. I couldn't control my thoughts as well I used to. Not as a vampire. Then in place of that, I thought about digging my teeth into flesh and I sighed.

"What are you thinking about?" Damon asked. He grabbed the fire poker and poked around, sending embers and sparks spiraling.

"Damon, I'm starving. Literally." He turned and looked at me and saw that I was slightly swaying on my feet. He dropped the fire poker on the floor and steadied me.

"Elena, you have to feed." He said, looking intensely into my eyes.

"I don't want to go anywhere, Damon. I can't handle feeding on people right now." I said breaking into tears.

"Well, what exactly do you plan on doing then, Elena?" Damon sounded more worried then upset. I sank down to the floor, feeling weak. Damon mirrored my action.

"Damon, can you explain to me why Stefan was so angry about me feeding on you?" I looked up at him. I saw a little flash of surprise run across his face. I saw him rub the palm of his hand as his face went from surprised to thoughtful. He finally raised his eyes to meet mine.

"Its...intimate. The act of blood sharing. It's like..." He seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say.

"Sex?" I asked feeling my stomach fly.

"Kind of, yes. Its a connection on many deep levels for the one feeding and the one being fed on." He explained.

"Does it cause you to have feelings for them?" I asked looking into the fire.

"No. But it amplifies feelings if there already there." He said. The fire cracked and sputtered in the silence.

I sat there, stirring uncomfortably in rampaging hunger. I started to feel more like an animal than a person. The vampire part of me was taking over and there was nothing I could do to control it. Any guilt I felt for the idea that I had in my head had faded.

"I want to do it again." I finally said.

Damon looked up at me in full on surprise.

"Elena, you're hungry. You're not really thinking straight. Stefan just started speaking to me again over the last time. Don't get me wrong, the peace and quiet has been golden but..." He stopped when I dropped my head into my hands. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"No! I'm NOT okay!" I nearly yelled at him. "I'm starving Damon. It's driving me crazy."

"The last time we did this it didn't even work." Damon said, trying to stay calm even though I could tell he finally realized I was becoming unhinged.

"I know but the last time you were drinking bagged blood and since you spent all night last night feeding on fresh blood I just thought it might be different this time." I explained. I was trying to keep my growing hysteria from edging into my voice but it was getting difficult.

"I just know you, Elena. You'll do this and then you're going to feel guilty..."

"Damon please!" I said starting to feel a panic wave over me. "Please! I won't tell anyone and I won't be upset. The only time since Ive been a vampire that I've been totally at peace while feeding was with you. Damon...even when I did feel guilty, I couldn't feel it completely. Please!" I felt tears begin to fall.

"Okay, okay." Damon took me into his arms to calm me down. "It's ok. You can tell anyone you want, I don't care. If it's what you need then that's all that matters." He said softly.

I smiled and wiped my tears. "Look who has naggy compassion now."

Damon smiled, a startling beautiful smile. He backed up across the floor until his back was against the couch.

"Come here." He motioned me to him. He bit into the palm of his hand and it only took me a split second to smell the blood pooling in his hand. I flew next to him and took his hand. I looked up at him. He nodded. I pressed his palm to my mouth and began pulling his blood down as quick as I could. I felt the sensation I did last time, of pure comfort and peacefulness. I just wanted to lean into Damon and drink from him forever. I pulled away for a moment and looked up at him. His eyes looked heavy and almost tired. I recognized it as what you would consider a drug hazed expression. I knew then thats what it was like. It was like an obsession. He was my drug. I took in the perfect angles of his face. His dark lashes casting shadows from the fire. Hunger took me again. I crashed into Damon, chest against chest and bit into his neck. He ran his hand into the back of my hair. As I drank and drank I heard Damon moan the tiniest bit. I jerked back, afraid I was hurting him. He grinned that sideways grin but I realized in horror that he looked pale.

"I'm okay." He said. His voice was heavy and deeper then usual.

"I want to know what it feels like." I said.

"Elena, I don't know." He said weakly.

"Come on, Damon." I laughed and hit his leg. "Are you shy?"

The most wicked grin lit up his face and lightning quick he grabbed me by my shoulders and pinned me to the ground. We looked at each other for the quickest moment and then I felt his teeth sink into my chest right above my breast. The feeling that took over was euphoria. Somewhere in the very back of my head was guilt. Because I was loving every moment of this. I felt more satisfied then I ever had before in hunger. When I realized I was running my hands under shirt, feeling the smooth warmness of his torso I suddenly realized we had to stop. I pushed him back but he moved with it willingly because he knew we had to stop as well.

"You okay?" He asked straightening out his shirt.

"I feel great. I think this might actually work. I don't feel nauseous at all or anything." I smiled

"That's what I was afraid of." Damon's face fell serious. "This can't happen again. Because, right now you're riding on a blood high but tonight you're gonna start feeling all guilty and Jimminy Cricket will whisper in your ear about honesty and deceit and blah blah blah and so on."

"Damon, let me just enjoy how I feel right now. At this moment."

He smiled. "Fair enough."

**THERE IS SOME CRAZY STUFF COMING UP. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS. I LIKE TO HAVE SEVERAL BEFORE MOVING ON SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING. -aj**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a particularly rainy month. I watched the trees pass by our car window, whitewashed in the overcast sky. I couldn't get over the fine detail I could take in now as a vampire. Even as the trees flew by I could make out every detail of every leaf, spotting the small bodies of wild life as they went about their lives in the forest. Stefan and I were on our way to Klaus' house. We were to discuss what exactly was going on. Stefan stirred behind the wheel of the car seemingly nervous or unsettled. He reached over and rested his hand on my leg and smiled lightly at me.

"How have you been?" He asked me. He had been busy trying to figure out the details behind the hunters and lately we hadn't spent as much time together.

"I've been doing good in school again. Jeremy has been stressing me out. I'm always afraid I'll get very hungry all the sudden and he'll get in the way." I sighed.

"Why don't you come and stay at the boarding house for a while. Jeremy will be fine. He could probably use a break himself, you know? It's obviously not been easy on him. Maybe until you get completely settled into …..this new life...then you can go back home with Jeremy." He said.

He had a good point but I was wary. He didn't even know that for the last week I had been getting my primary blood source straight from Damon. I was meaning to tell him but the reality of telling him was too much for me to handle. I was finally feeling somewhat comfortable in my own skin since changing and I just couldn't break the peace just yet.

"Yeah, that might work. I definitely agree that Jeremy needs a break from me."

Stefan nodded staring blankly out onto the open road.

"I'm worried about Damon." He said looking over at me.

My stomach flipped in fear. "Why?" I asked.

"He's been going out a lot. I can smell it on him." Stefan's face tightened. "I can smell fresh blood. It's been a while since he did that regularly but he's back in it. I'm afraid of what that means." He shook his head. I laid my head back on the seat realizing the truth behind Damon's frequent intake of fresh blood was because I was frequently taking his.

"I'm sure he'll get over it. It's probably just a flare up from when we went to the college." I said as nonchalant as possible.

"How have you been feeding lately? I know you've been having a lot of trouble." Stefan said looking at me, sending my fear back up the charts.

"I've called Matt over a lot. I've gotten really good at control though." I lied. There were a couple of days that Damon could barely move after I fed. I had to return some at the end. The thing that scared me is that if Damon were alive he would have died before I was even halfway done with what I took from him. I was afraid to go near Matt again now that I was fully satisfied for the first time with Damon.

"Well just remember it's a hard game, dealing with the hunger. It can make you crazy. You know you can always come to me with any problems though." Stefan said, rubbing my leg.

"Yeah I know." I smiled. But inside I felt like that wasn't true at all. Stefan was always a great listener and supporter when I was human but my newly found vampire problems posed an issue for him because he can barely separate the moral part of him from the one who murders on a daily basis.

We pulled into Klaus' driveway and made our way inside. The lavish décor of the inside was even more dated then the boarding house. It was almost like a museum and I found myself getting way too interested in the huge shelves full of amazing artifacts. Stefan had to basically drag me into the living room. I was pleased to see Bonnie sitting on the couch and I was even more pleased to see that Rebecca wasn't even there. Klaus sat on the couch not far from Bonnie which was a strange sight to see.

"Welcome, love." Klaus said handing me a glass of wine. I took it gladly because I hadn't seen Damon yet and I was hungry. Damon came in only a few moments later and took a seat right next to me. He looked over at me and for a moment our eyes locked. We had a secret and it was burning like fire between us. The electricity I felt whenever he was near was flowing freely now and It took me a moment to remember where I was and why.

"Okay, so let's get started." Klaus said pouring his second glass of wine. I chugged down the rest of mine and I could see Damon watching me from the corner of my eye. He new I was hungry and I could sense the worry he was feeling about it. Ever sense I had began blood sharing with him more regularly I had a tendency to feel the emotion he was feeling and the mood that he was in and I knew he felt it with me too. It was just one of the many ways blood sharing connected two vampires and I knew fully, now...why Stefan despised that it happened even once.

"So what's going on?" Bonnie asked, looking at Stefan.

Stefan looked uneasily over at Klaus. Klaus nodded, looking amused and sat back taking a long sip of his wine.

Stefan began pacing as he talked. "As you all know there is a hunter in town and he is a part of what has been called, the original five. They date back all the way to Klaus' time and have lived and killed before here in Mystic Falls. Were still looking into everything. We're trying to find out what their move is so that we can be a step ahead of them and they have these tattoos that only certain people can see. One of those people are Jeremy. From what we know, anyone with the "hunter gene" can see them and can even become very powerful hinters themselves. Obviously, Jeremy has a special interest in Vampires, especially now so we don't have to worry."

"Easier said then done. I want him left out of it." I said, looking over to Klaus. Of course all that was returned was a cocky smile.

"Get to the point, Stefan. Meetings bore me." Damon said.

Stefan rolled his eyes and sighed. "The point Damon, is that they have something that we want."

"Which is?" Bonnie perked up with interest.

"A cure." Stefan said.

We all knew the moment he said it, what he was talking about. We were all dumbfounded and speechless. Even Damon.

Finally, Bonnie broke the silence. "Are you telling me that there is a cure for vampires?"

"Well we don't know for sure if it's for one or many. We're not even exactly sure what were dealing with yet. We just know there's a possibility that there's a cure out there. Klaus and I will be looking further into it. We know that there is a sword we need so later tonight we'll be pouring over them until we find the exact location of where its buried." Stefan explained.

"So after you find your buried treasure, what's your plan?" Damon asked. I could sense an edge of anger in his voice but I wasn't sure what it was. He didn't usually hold back on voicing his opinion especially if he was mad.

"That's where it gets tricky." Klaus said. "There's a map to the cure in the tattoos."

Damon's eyes narrowed. "The tattoos that you can't see?"

Klaus reached over and picked up a piece of paper on the table and handed it to Damon.

"Compliments of Jeremy." Klaus smiled.

I looked at Stefan who glanced at me apologetically. He had told me about Jeremy being forced to draw what he saw on the tattoo. I was still mad about it.

"Does anybody in this room realize how stupid this all sounds or am I alone?" Damon said, tossing the paper onto the table.

"We can't take the chance that it's not serious, Damon." Stefan said. "She's not adapting well. At all. She never wanted this."

"Well we figure that between Stefan and I and a good witch on our side we should be able to locate this cure." Klaus said.

"No, Bonnie. You're not helping with this." I said. She frowned and tilted her head at me. A silent question of why.

"If I can have anything to do with changing you back I'm doing it, Elena." Bonnie said.

"No! Bonnie, I'm tired of you always winding up the one that gets hurt or loses something over helping any of us. I can't do it anymore." I said.

"It doesn't matter ladies." Klaus said interrupting us. "Stefan already requested that we find another witch. He also agrees that Bonnie deserves a break. He looked at his phone. "And it just so happens that she has arrived." The sound of the front door opening sounded into the living room.

"In here darling!" Klaus called out.

To say she was beautiful would be an understatement. She was dazzling. Blonde wavy hair that tumbled all the way down her back. Her face was fresh and radiant. Big blue eyes, perfect nose and pouty lips. She put Rebecca to absolute shame on the pretty blond girl scale. She wore a light lavender dress and tall black boots. She looked like a movie star.

"This is Lacey. She's a friend of mine. A very powerful witch and she's going to be helping us out, so that we can keep dear Bonnie out of trouble." Klaus explained.

Lacey laughed. "Actually were not friends Klaus. I don't even like you that much but you know I'm always willing to help if it's for the greater good." She smiled. Klaus laughed lightly. Not sure if she was joking or serious.

"It's nice to meet you, Bonnie. I always love meeting a fellow witch." She leaned over and shook Bonnie's hand before taking a seat on the other side of Klaus.

Stefan went on to explain how they would try a series of spells to try to locate the cure as well as deciphering the map. I looked over just in time to see that Lacey wasn't paying any attention to Stefan. Something else had caught her attention. Damon. I looked at Damon to see if he noticed her staring at him but he seemed clueless about it and seemed to question my expression with his eyes. I looked back at her and she was listening to Stefan now and pouring a small glass of wine but as soon as she took a sip and glanced over at Damon again. I felt a twinge stirring in my stomach. I could barely stand her even looking at him. I wondered suddenly what the hell was wrong with me. Was it the emotions of a vampire being heightened? I mean I couldn't lie to myself. I had picked Stefan. He was my one and only. But I couldn't just make my feelings for Damon go away without a trace. I wondered if it was the blood sharing. Was it making me feel stronger and also more territorial? I suddenly felt nervous and wanted to get out of the house. Even more I wanted Damon to not be around her.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was being absolutely un reasonable. How could I be in a relationship with his brother and expect him to not even be looked at by another girl. I had to get these feelings under control. It wasn't fair to Damon or Stefan.

I tried to suppress the minor hatred I had for this girl knowing that somewhere down the line Damon would eventually move on and find somebody. Holding on to him on the side was like Katherine. Worse than Katherine. Being a vampire, however. Your emotions are on full volume. Whether you like it or not.

We all finally agreed to meet back over at the boarding house later that night to see if we could quickly find the location of where the sword was buried. Bonnie asked if she could still come. I shot her a glance to let her know I meant that she wasnt going to help.

"I just want to be there. No spells I swear." She said.

I agreed, and we all went our separate ways. Stefan dropped me off at my house to I could pack a bag to stay at the boarding house for a while and to get my car. I stopped in and found Jeremy sitting with two of his friends on the couch playing video games. I smiled, seeing him do some normal guy stuff. When one of his friends took over the controller I asked to speak to him alone for minute.

"What' up?" He said grabbing a box of pop tarts out of the cabinet and sitting in the dining room chair.

"I just wanted you to know I'm just going to go stay at the boarding house for a little while. At least until I can get the hunger under control. But I'm only going if your okay with it." I said.

He took a bite out of a pop tart and seemed to think carefully about it.

"Can I have a party here?" Jeremy grinned.

I laughed. "You know what? Yes...go for it."

His face looked comically surprised.

"Are you being serious?" He asked.

"Actually I am. Just don't burn the house down or get the police called on you." I said.

"There's a good part about this new you." Jeremy laughed. I could see that even in his laughter, that the "new me" was still very bothersome for him.

"Well, have fun, just not too much and please call me if you need me and your welcome over any time. I wont be gone for too too long." I hugged him and headed upstairs to pack a bag. It wasn't until I was in the shower that it finally sank in that there was a possible cure out there. That one day I might actually feel my heart beat again. Be able to have a normal diet. The thought of that only amplified my hunger. I was happy to know that I might have a second chance but I was very hesitant on getting my hopes up too high. I didn't even know if there would be a cure at all or if they could even find it if there was.

I got out of the shower and threw on a t-shirt and underwear. I reached into my closet and grabbed a bag to pack and a pear of jeans to put on.

"There's seriously nothing sexier then little frogs wearing top hats." Damon said with a grin standing right inside my window.

"Omigod! Damon!" I grabbed my jeans and put them on in a flash.

"Relax cupcake. I've seen it all before." He said.

"No you haven't!" I snapped.

"You have a doppelganger. Yes, I have." He smiled and winked.

"Thanks, Damon." I said feeling that stab of jealousy again. I opened my drawers and began pulling cloths out to pack.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Damon said suddenly standing right behind me.

I couldn't tell him that I was worked up about a girl looking at him. I turned around.

"I'm ….hungry." I said. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either.

His face softened. He went and got on the bed and leaned back. I followed after him and sat down next to him, swinging my legs over his and leaning into his neck. I bit down and began to drink. I felt the familiar movement of Damons fingers in my hair and his other hand on my arm. There was something strangely comforting about this. It had become the thing I looked forward to all day. It wasnt about the hunger. I felt happy like this. Safe and at peace. But with every share...I knew it was tying Damon and I tighter and tighter to one another. Then I thought about Lacey staring at Damon and I felt Damon tense up a little when I bit down harder. I felt his hand slip off my arm and I quickly let go and looked at his face. His bright blue eyes looked tired but he managed to smile weakly.

"You weren't kidding about being hungry." He said.

"Damon I'm so sorry. I got carried away. Here." I bit my wrist and held it to his lips. He drank for a moment and let go. He looked at me for a moment, that look of drugged euphoria made him look shockingly beautiful and he leaned forward pushing me down with light force until I laid on my back. He positioned himself over me and leaned down, running his lips lightly across my neck until he bit down. The electricity began to run through me like never before and the hazed euphoria took me over. I began to get a little worked up. Wanting his body closer to me, wanting to feel his hands on me. He let go and I felt his tongue run over the bite. Before I knew it, a sigh escaped my lips. He raised his head and looked at me. I reached up, touching his face, running my thumb over the spot of blood on his lips. Our faces got closer and closer, our lips just about to touch.

"Stop." I could barely get the word out. I jumped up off the bed. He got off the bed and stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Damon, if were going to do this we have to stop letting it get to us. I made my decision. I'm with Stefan and I'm already lying to him about this. I hate being a vampire, I hate that I need this to get by." I said.

His dark hair hung in his eyes and he straightened out his blue v neck shirt.

"No, you hate needing me. Just say it Elena." He said, looking hurt, which killed me.

"That's not true, Damon." I said.

"Well, at least there's a cure. Maybe soon you'll be human again and you won't need "this" to get by anymore. We can go back to pretending to be friends who are always mildly annoyed with each other. Cause that's our thing right? Love-hate and all that." He looked down at the floor. He couldn't even look at me.

"That's not fair, Damon." I said stepping closer to him.

He looked back up suddenly. Anger and hurt in his eyes. "No, let me tell you what is unfair, Elena. Loving a girl every single day. It doesn't fade, it doesn't let up, it doesn't stop torturing me. But I'll always do anything for you. Always. No matter how much it hurts."

His words knocked the breath out of me. What had I become? "Damon, if you can't separate your feelings from what were doing then we can stop." I said.

He smiled darkly. "If I can't separate my feelings? Am I the only one you're talking to?"

"You have to move on, Damon. I'm with Stefan. I know I haven't made it easy for you but you have to move on." I said. For some reason, it took great effort for me to speak every word of that sentence.

"Noted." Damon said, suddenly the pain on his face was gone. He looked calm and cool. He was a master at that.

He turned to leave.

"Should I start calling, Matt instead?" I asked.

He turned back around. "No. You can't feed on him now. You'll kill him. I'll see you at the house."

He was gone.

I packed my bags as slow as possible. I felt angry. Mostly at myself. I had made a final decision so that I couldn't hurt anyone else. Now I was just continuing to hurt Damon. Lying to Stefan. My life was a wreck. The worst part was the more emotional I felt the hungrier I became and the quicker it came back on.

I finally finished and made the drive to the boarding house. Stefan greeted me at the door with a kiss. He stepped outside with me. I could hear the many voices inside and realized everyone had made it there before me.

"Hey. I just wanted to talk to you alone before we went into all the chaos." Stefan said nodding towards the door.

"Oh. What about?" I asked.

Stefan smiled and held my chin in his hand. "I can't just have a private conversation with my girlfriend"

I smiled, relieved that there was nothing serious on his mind. "Of course." I said.

"I was just wondering how you felt about the cure were hoping to find." He said.

"I guess I'm just really hoping it's real. And findable." I said.

Stefan smiled and nodded. The moon cast light on his face, making him look very pale. He was quiet for a moment and he seemed to be deep in troubled thought.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

He smiled. "You can always tell when I'm not, can't you?" Stefan asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. Talk to me Stefan. What's wrong?" I reached out and took his hand.

"It's just, while Klaus and I are looking for this I know you need someone there. This is the worst time for me to leave you alone and be preoccupied but I'm trying to do what I can to take this burden off of you. Anything." He said.

"What if it could cure more then just me?" I asked him.

He smiled but very faintly. "Let's just hope it's real. And findable." He said and then he hugged me close for a long while.

We eventually made our way back inside. We walked into the living room and everyone was leaned over the small desk behind the couch.

"It looks like it would probably be buried somewhere up here on the north side." Bonnie said to Klaus.

"You're probably right." Klaus said picking up the map. "Stefan come look at this."

"This will make like the sixth "maybe" spot for the sword." Lacey said sitting on the back of the couch, still looking hauntingly beautiful. I felt a tingle of electricity and I turned to see Damon walk into the living room. He had skipped pouring scotch into a glass and was chugging it straight from the bottle.

"Hey sailor, let me get some of that." Lacey laughed, jumping off the back of the couch and taking the bottle right out of Damon's hand and drinking from it. I felt like my body had turned to stone. She handed it back to him and smiled. What bothered me even more was that Damon didn't say anything mean to her, or sarcastic, or even flirtatious. When she turned around to get back on the couch, he smiled and shook his head. He thought she was cute. I could tell.

Bonnie came up to me then, pulling my attention away from watching Lacey stare at Damon.

"Caroline will be back in town from visiting her aunt in a couple of days. We need to all get together. If you're up for it." Bonnie said.

"You have no idea how much I'm up for it." I laughed.

"Wouldn't it be amazing, Elena? If this cure is really out there?" Bonnie asked me, looking more exited then I even felt.

"It would be. I just hope it can help everyone, you know?" I said.

"Yeah. None of the guys asked for this, neither did Caroline." Bonnie said.

"There's a LOT of things you didn't ask for Bonnie. Where's the cure for you?" I said, feeling the rush of hurt over everything Bonnie had been put through and had sacrificed for everyone else.

"Oh, Elena." She said reaching in and hugging me.

"Hey! I wanted to introduce myself." Lacey was suddenly standing there.

"Oh yeah, hi." I smiled "I'm Elena and you of course have met Bonnie."

She smiled and nodded at Bonnie. "I'm so excited about being able to help with this. I heard about how you got turned. Rebecca is such a bitch, right?" Lacey laughed.

"Yeah pretty much." I laughed.

"It's really weird cause I usually can't stand vampires. No offense. But all you guys are really great. And what's up with that dark headed Salvatore? Ugh, he is beautiful." She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. He was helping Klaus and Stefan mark the map.

Bonnie laughed to break the silence. I had stood there like a deer caught in headlights. Not sure what to say unless I was going to kill her. "He's an enter at your own risk, kind of guy."Bonnie joked.

"Uh oh, damaged goods? Heart broken one too many times?" Lacey asked.

Bonnie looked at me not knowing what to say and Lacey picked up on that really quick.

"Oh...you? I thought you were with his brother?" She asked, confused.

"Oh yeah. I finally said being able to speak. "Yeah. Im with Stefan. Damon and I...were just friends. I mean we had some ….its …." I was at a loss of words.

"It's complicated I get it." She smiled. "Well, if you don't mind I'm a sucker for mending a broken heart. He's probably the prettiest guy I've ever seen." She laughed.

I laughed a strange dry laugh. A laugh that was a little too loud and strained. It was enough to make Bonnie glance at me.

"Well, I'm going to make a few drinks. Does anyone want one?" Bonnie said.

"I'll take...five." I said, trying to sound like I was joking.

Lacey left with Bonnie to the kitchen to make drinks and I took Lacey's seat on the back of the couch watching the guys, mostly Damon pour over the map, making the marks on it where they wanted to dig. Damon insisted on the marks being an X and referred to the guys as pirates several times.

"Here you go." Lacey came up behind Damon and handed him the girliest pink martini I had ever seen. Damon raised a brow but then he looked at Lacey's face. She looked so happy and proud of herself that even I felt bad for her for thinking Damon would want that. He stared at her for a minute and then he just kind of laughed and took it. He took a sip of it and cringed a little.

"Well? How is it?" Lacey asked him.

"Delicious." Damon lied with a smile.

She smiled. "Good. Let me know if you want another." She chimed, and turned to join Bonnie.

Stefan and Klaus both stared at Damon holding his pink martini. He stared back for a moment. Then he turned it up and drank every last drop and slammed the glass on the table.

"Yummy." He said even though his face said otherwise.

Klaus and Stefan smiled but they quickly went back to the map.

After a while I stood there talking to Bonnie when I noticed Lacey and Damon talking in the corner of the living room by the book shelf. She reached up and touched his face in a playful way and I felt my gums start to ache. She said something about the professor she had at the college upstate and it made Damon laugh. He genuinely laughed. It was when she stood on her tippie toes to whisper something in his ear that I broke the glass I was holding in my hand. Luckily nobody noticed except for Bonnie.

"Elena, what is wrong with you?" Bonnie asked, leaning down to help me pick up the glass.

"I just haven't learned my own strength yet." I tried to smile like nothing was going through my mind.

"You're lying. I saw you looking at Damon." She said.

"Bonnie, please. I'll explain but wait until we hang out alone." I pleaded with my eyes that she wouldn't take it any further.

"Okay." She finally said, her brows raised.

Great, now what was I going to say to her. The actual truth about me feeding on him. That I chose Stefan but Damon still haunted me and that these days I relied on him more then anyone.

Everyone began to leave, planning an early morning hike to find the buried sword. I saw Damon break off and go into the kitchen alone. I got in there while everyone was distracted,talking in the living room before they left.

"Damon, Bathroom." I jerked his arm and led him into the bathroom on the far side of the house. I led him in there and shut the door behind us.

"Are you ok?" He asked looking concerned. "

"I'm hungry. I'm sorry but I am and I can't stand it." I said.

He looked concerned "Okay okay. No problem." He bit into palm and held it to me. I began to drink, but as hard as I was drinking I couldn't get enough out of his palm. I dropped his hand and pushed him against the wall harder then I meant to.

"Elena. Are you okay? Look at me." He said. I looked up at his face. His dark lashes over his blue eyes were sharp and beautiful with concern as they swept my face looking for signs of a problem.

"I'm just hungry." I whispered. I felt rage and frustration, but I couldn't tell him because I wasn't connecting my jealousy with my hunger. I leaned in and bit his neck, I began to drain blood from him faster then usual. For the first time I heard him whisper, almost groan into my ear to stop.

I kept on. I felt like I couldn't. If I stopped then my moment with him would be over. I had to keep going.

"You have to stop, Elena." He purred into my ear. When his hands slipped out of my hair I realized what I doing and jumped back. I felt the blood running down my chin, even down my neck. Damon stood limp up against the wall, a light sheen of sweat over his pale skin. Dark shadows under his eyes.

"Damon, omigod are you okay?"

He looked up at me and too my wrist, drinking in enough to regain some of his strength. He dropped my hand and looked at me with a somewhat terrified expression.

"I know we kind of had a thing earlier but what's wrong with you?" He asked stepping towards me. I turned away from him and he grabbed my shoulder and turned me back around. "Tell me what's wrong, Elena." He said again.

That's when the bathroom door opened and there was Stefan.

**Please let me know what you think! Sry for the delay this time but ive got my whole story arc for this done so it will go by quicker ;). As usual though, please leave reviews. I like to get a good idea of how you guys like it before moving on so let me know :D Thanks for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

I had only seen that look on Stefan's face once before. When he was the Ripper. He stood there seething with anger but his eyes stayed locked on Damon. I looked back at Damon in horror realizing he was still pale, weak and his eyes here sunken and dark. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Stefan reached in and grabbed Damon and slammed him into the wall in the hallway.

"Stefan don't!" I screamed. Stefan punched Damon in the stomach so hard I was afraid his fist had gone all the way through to the wall. Damon choked and groaned. I flew towards them but Stefan blocked me, sending me tripping out onto the floor. Damon saw me hit the ground and all the sudden he seemed to gather strength from nowhere. So fast it was a blur Damon grabbed Stefan and slammed him on the ground. Stefan retaliated quickly and they fought all the way through the kitchen and into the living room. Crashing and banging echoed through the house. I heard glass shattering. I ran in just in time to see them both get a few good hits in.

"Stop it, please!" I begged.

They finally heard me and stopped. Both of them looked dangerously close to killing each other. Damon looked barely able to stand and I felt an unbearable wave of guilt over come me.

"I should kill you." Stefan hissed at Damon.

"Oh come on Stefan. Admit it, you like me to much." Damon tried to grin but I could tell he was near collapsing.

"It's not his fault Stefan. I asked him to do it. It's my fault." I told him.

Stefan looked at me in surprise but then he shook his head and hit Damon again. "You took advantage of her weakness Damon. You knew what you were doing!" He growled.

Damon wiped the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand. "I took advantage? Look at her Stefan! She's doing better. She's back in school, she can be around crowds, she's holding it all down. She's happier. But you wouldn't know that cause you've been so busy lately trying find this cure..."

"Of course I've been trying to find the cure, Damon. It's what she needs. Especially now that she's resorted to this." He said motioning towards Damon.

"There's a lot worse things that she could be "resorting" too Stefan." Damon said. "She's not hurting anyone. You just hate it for your own selfish reasons. You act like you're so worried about her well being but let's talk about this cure. What's Klaus helping for, Stefan? So he can get back his blood bank. I think so and you don't seem to care about that because you'll get Elena back as a human."

"She can have her life back!" Stefan yelled.

"No! It's so you can have your life back with her!" Damon said pointing at him.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not standing here!" I finally said. I couldn't take any more of it.

"You know what? It's fine. I gotta get out of here anyway. I need to go feed on...something. I'm feeling a little peckish." Damon said, sounding bitter. He turned and walked towards the door.

"There's blood bags in the basement Damon, why do you have to go out?" Stefan asked.

Damon turned around and looked at Stefan for a long moment. "It's what works for her." Damon said shrugging.

Stefan stepped forward almost growling with anger.

"Oh, what? Are you going to make her stop blood sharing? Funny...you've always been the hero, letting Elena make all of her own decisions no matter what. Are you going to stop now?" Damon smiled victoriously. "See you guys in the morning." Damon said as he walked out.

The silence that hung in the air when he left was crushing. Stefan looked at me. I could see the anger and the hurt so easily.

"I'm sorry you found out like that." I said quietly. "I was wanting to tell you." I said.

"I already knew." He said. "When you first got here and I hugged you. I could smell Damon all over you."

"You knew I was blood sharing?" I asked.

"I knew you had a secret involving Damon." He admitted.

"Are you ever going to be able to forgive me?" I asked walking closer to him.

"I already forgive you." He said. "If it's the only thing you can do to have a somewhat normal life then what can I do? Take it away? Don't get me wrong. I hate it. I hate it more then anything. I can't stand the idea of it happening. But...it's your decision." He kissed me on my forehead and turned and walked away. I knew very easily that every word he said was a lie. He didn't forgive me, he still wanted to kill Damon, and the only thing he was relying on was finding that cure and now he would do anything to find it.

The next morning started off okay. Stefan and I talked and joked in bed, followed by a pretty heavy make out session. Things didn't get weird until after we were up, showered and dressed and ready to meet up with everyone to dig up the sword. We walked downstairs and Damon came out of his room.

"Are you wearing a hoodie?" I grinned at Damon. He was wearing jeans and a striped red and pink hoodie.

"Yeah. I found this night club about an hour outside of town. Some of the kids decided to go skinny dipping on Lake Shannon. I waited until..." He pulled the back of the hoodie out to look at the tag. "John Watkins left his cloths and grabbed it. Any body who labels their tags with their name deserves to get their cloths stolen."

I laughed harder then I intended. "That's what you do now, steal cloths?"

"I have nice cloths and I'm tired of them getting destroyed during our shenanigans. No matter how stupid." He said, shooting Stefan a cold look.

A silence fell over the room. I suddenly realized I was hungry and Stefan seemed to sense that.

"Well if you need to do your thing before we leave then go ahead." Stefan said, his voice barely hiding behind the veil of anger he felt.

We all kind of stood there not really knowing what to say.

"I'll wait outside." Stefan said. He walked out and slammed the huge wooden front door.

"Wow, once again he's taking the high road." Damon said sarcastically. "Come on." He took my hand and led me to his room. A move that made my stomach erupt with butterflies. The feeling of his hand holding mine was the only thing I could concentrate on. He led me into his bathroom and I jumped up and sat down on the counter between the sinks. Damon took his hoodie off and tossed it to the side. He walked closer until he was standing between my legs.

"Damon. I'm so sorry about last night." I said, feeling horribly ashamed.

"Don't be. I'm always up for a good fist fight. Relieves stress." He grinned.

"I'm serious Damon." I said looking seriously into his eyes, that were looking more on the edge of turquoise.

His face loss it's humored smirk and fell serious. "Are you going to tell me what was wrong with you last night?" He asked.

I thought back to the rabid jealousy I felt the night before and shook my head. "No. I'm not." I said.

He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear, once again sending the butterflies free. "Well whenever you decide to tell me, I'm all ears." He smiled.

I nodded and then leaned into him biting into his neck. I drank a little less than usual, figuring he needed a break. He reached over and dampened a towel and wiped his neck and dabbed it across my lips. But his eyes...they never left mine.

The quiet happy bubble we were in was interrupted when Stefan walked in.

"We need to get going." He said, his voice flat.

I jumped off the counter in a hurry and we all headed out. We arrived at the base of the hill leading into the woods where Bonnie's car sat. Out of it came Bonnie, Klaus and of course the dazzling Lacey who instantly smiled and waved at Damon. They opened the trunk and grabbed out a few shovels.

"I like your jacket!" Lacey said coming up to Damon.

"Thank, I stole it." He said.

"That's always the best way to get cloths." She laughed. "Luckily I have an older sister who can afford all the good stuff."

Damon laughed and we all began to head up hill. Klaus and Stefan walked ahead of us, discussing plans for when and if we found the sword. I walked with Bonnie listening to her talk about an array of different subjects. Luckily, being a vampire it was easy for me to follow her conversation topics and keep and eye on Damon and Lacey who were apparently hiking buddies for the day. They laughed and talked and at some point she tripped and Damon caught her. Then Lacey decided that it was probably a wise decision to loop arms with Damon to keep her balance. At one point we all stopped for Lacey and Bonnie to catch their breath. I saw Damon out in the distance put a cricket in the hood of Lacey's sweater and she freaked out and ran in a circle until he took it out for her.

"Seriously?" I said out loud, but definitely not meaning too.

Bonnie stopped mid sentence about her theory on how the cure would work and grabbed my arm.

"Elena. Seriously. What is your deal?" She asked.

"What do you think about Lacey?" I asked.

Bonnie looked confused. "She's nice. Don't know her well but she seems cool. Why?"

"She just seems overly happy." I said.

"Elena. You're apprehensive about a really sweet girl because she's too happy?" Bonnie laughed but in a frustrated kind of way.

"I don't know what my problem is." I sighed.

Bonnie turned toward me put her hands on my shoulders. "I'll tell you what your problem is, Elena. Your problem with Lacey is that she is obviously really into Damon. Tell me I'm wrong."

I shrugged.

We finally made it to the top of the hill and found the marker we were looking for. It was an old graveyard tucked away in some over grown woods. Some of the headstones were so old they had disintegrated into rubble. Klaus and Stefan got started on digging where they thought it was. Bonnie went around enchanting the dead flowers and dying over growth back to life, slowly turning the grounds from dead and forgotten to colorful and full of life. I smiled as I sat sitting up against the tree. Bonnie had a heart of gold and I felt so lucky to have her as a friend. I looked over. Out in the distance on the peak of the hill, Damon and Lacey say on a large rock by a huge tree. The sunset behind them was so bright they looked like nothing but shadowy silhouettes. Enough for me to be able to see when Lacey leaned in and kissed Damon quickly on the lips. I felt like a stake had just pierced my heart and I looked away.

"We got it! It's here!" Stefan said a while later. We all ran to the whole they had dug. Klaus was standing in the whole and he reached down and brought up the sword. The sword had a strange, small pane of glass right below the handle.

"This is what you use to read the maps." Klaus said looking in wonder at the glass in the sword. Stefan smiled and glanced up at me. I smiled back and nodded.

"Excellent. A sword." Damon said. "Let's go."

We made it back to the cars. To my nightmare, Stefan rode back with Klaus and Bonnie to look further into the sword. Lacey apparently, was riding back to the house with me and Damon. It was a drive that lasted forever but as soon we got back to the house I took my shoes off at the door.

"Damon, want me to make you another drink?" Lacey asked.

Damon laughed lightly. "I'll tell you what. Let's skip on the self made drinks and go out instead." He suggested.

"That would be awesome!" She said.

"You guys have fun." I said, trying not to cry like I really wanted to. I made my way upstairs and a few minutes later I heard them both leave. In the quietness of the house I buried myself under the covers on the bed and made myself sleep.

_I stood on a hard wood deck looking out over the beautiful lake that danced like a surface of fire with the setting sun. I looked down to see the long white fabric of my dress blowing in the wind far in front of me. I ran my hands over the soft white fabric. It was my wedding dress. _

_ I felt his hand on my back before I heard his voice. _

_ "There will never be a bride as beautiful as you." He said. _

_ I turned to find Damon, stunningly beautiful, smiling down at me. His eyes stood out like oceanic jewels against the black and white of his tux. _

_ "Damon." I felt lit up inside as I hugged him close. _

_ "You know we could always run away and elope." He laughed. _

_ "I think that sounds amazing." I smiled. _

_ "Well just don't tell the groom." He smiled, holding his finger to his lips to quiet me. I tilted my head, confused about what he was saying. Damon looked back behind us and took a step back. "Speaking of..." _

_ I turned around to see Stefan walking towards me in his suit. He was the groom. Stefan was. I felt this flash of joy that was quickly murdered obscenely by fear and disappointment. Damon back __away from from me and Stefan came and took his place. When I went to look back at Damon, he was gone completely. _

_ Stefan looked down at me. "This just isn't working." He said. "Did you hear me?" He asked. _

I sat up in bed with a gasp. Stefan was sitting o the edge of the bed.

"You okay?" He asked, looking troubled.

"Yeah, I just...had a weird dream." I said.

"Oh...well anyways. I was saying this isn't working. The sword. We tried to use it on the drawing that Jeremy did and it didn't reveal anything." He said.

"It might have to be straight from their bodies." I suggested, pulling my hair into a pony tail.

"Yeah, you're probably right. We were just afraid of that. It's gonna take forever." He rolled his eyes.

I looked over at the clock. "Oh, I'm late for class." I said jumping out of the bed. Stefan hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me back onto the bed.

"You could just skip. Hang out with me today." He smiled, kissing me from forehead to chin.

"I can't, I have a huge test." I said.

"Alright. Go ace that test." He said, letting me get up. "Oh yeah, and don't forget were all having dinner tonight at Klaus' tonight."

I made it to school just in time for the second bell and hurried through my biology exam. I was so ready for graduation but at the same time it served as a nice distraction. I was thrilled to see Caroline was back. Her and Tyler were making out by her locker when I called out to her.

"Oh hey, Elena! I'll be joining you tonight with Tyler for dinner!" She said excitedly.

"Awesome, see you there!" I said as I headed into my next class.

Halfway through history I got a text from Damon. "Waiting in the car outside, if you need me."

I got up and made an excuse to leave and headed out into the parking lot. Damon was parked next my car. I got in and shut the door. He greeted me with a smile. The heater was warm against my skin and the car smelled of nothing but Damon. It was nice.

"How's high school? Are you falling into peer pressure. Remember, just say no." Damon laughed at himself. I smiled.

"Thanks for coming." I said.

"Eh, I had some time to kill." He said rolling up his sleeve and biting into his wrist.

I leaned in and drank but not for too long. My appetite wasn't as strong. I sat up.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

He smiled but it almost seemed like a private joke. "You've just seemed odd lately."

"I'm fine." I shrugged. I noticed a small pile of pink fabric in the backseat and I leaned over and picked it up. It was a pink cardigan with pearl buttons.

"Who's this?" I asked. As if I didn't know.

"Oh, I guess Lacey left it." He said. I hated the sound of her name coming from his mouth.

"Oh, well I guess you can give it to her tonight at Klaus' house for dinner." I said tossing back in the back seat.

"Actually I'm about to pick her up." Damon said adjusting the heater.

"Oh." I said, feeling anger rise in me. "So you like her?" I asked, without even wanting to know the truth.

"Actually...yeah. I do." He said. "She's sweet." He said.

"Sweet? That's not a word you usually use to describe...anyone." I said, trying to hide the extreme annoyance I felt.

Damon raised an eyebrow. "Okay...she has an ass like a french runway model. Is that better?" He smirked.

I took a deep breath. "Oh yeah, that's much more like you." I said. "See you tonight." I got out of the car and slammed the door against my wishes. I walked back to the school where I spent the rest of the day not paying attention to a damn word that anyone had to say. I got in my car and headed home after school. I decided I would get back to the boarding house, put on something nice and actually enjoy dinner tonight. I couldn't wait to see Caroline and I reminded myself I needed to make plans with her and Bonnie for some girl time. Much needed girl time.

I got into the house and hung up and coat and scarf. I headed across the livingroom and into the kitchen where I almost ran straight into Lacey.

"Omigod, I'm so sorry." Lacey laughed.

I smiled, and once I smiled it was frozen there. I noticed that she was wearing one of Damons t-shirts and that was all. I felt myself die inside.

"Oh, um...it's okay." I forced a fake laugh. "Looks like you're having a fun day." I said, cursing myself on the inside for saying something so stupid.

"Oh." She laughed, her cheeks burned bright. "Elena. I'm crazy about Damon. He's amazing." She said.

I felt like the floor was disappearing beneath my feet. "Yeah, he's a great guy. Just be careful. Damon isn't really the type to get close to anyone. Sp I just don't want you to take it as something else." I said.

"I understand that, but I think this is different." She said.

"Really? Why's that?" I asked.

"He's just been so honest with me and open about things. I feel like I know him pretty well and I know it hasn't been long at all but if it's real it's real you know?" Shes said.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly has he been so open about?" I asked.

"Well, he's been honest with me about how he feels about you. I know he feels out of place here and wonders a lot whether or not he should leave Mystic Falls. Him and Stefan had apparently made a pre determined agreement that whoever you picked, the other one would leave. And...he misses Alaric. All the time." She explained.

I felt like I was being ripped apart. I had no idea what to say. The idea of Damon leaving Mystic Falls was a real life nightmare. He had really been talking to her. He was moving on. Just like I told him too.

"Oh well, I'm glad he found someone to talk to." I forced a smile.

"Thanks. Me too, I guess." She laughed.

"We'll I'll see you later tonight." I said. I turned before she could say another word and went upstairs. I stripped off my cloths and jumped into the shower where I cried. Hard. Just when I got myself together, I cried some more.

Later that night when Stefan and I arrived at Klaus' house I could barely contain how I felt on the inside. I took note that when I was a human I was very good at hiding my feelings but as a vampire they were always right there on the surface, waiting to get out. We walked into the house and mingled a bit. Waiting for everyone to get there. I talked to Bonnie and Caroline and had several glasses of wine before Damon and Lacey showed up. The first thing I noticed was how he rested his hand on the small of her back as they walked around. I hung all over Stefan more than usual, enough to get Damon's attention, which I did a couple of times. We all finally sat down to eat. After a bunch of senseless chatter Klaus raised his glass to toast the table.

"To the cure." He smiled as we all tapped glasses.

"So have you goons finally come up with a plan to figure out the maps?" Damon asked.

"Stefan and I are planning to go see some friends of mine outside of Atlanta in a week or so. They will probably know a lot more than we do." Klaus said.

"Screw all the research. I'd just go in head first." Damon smiled.

I felt myself tense up. "Well, You can't just go jumping into anything Damon. That's what gets us all into trouble." I said.

"It's a also a good way to get problems solved quicker." He said.

"No it's a good way to start up a rampaging war of retaliation until we luck our way out of it or not luck our way out of it. We've lost enough people to know that jumping into something doesn't always go according to plan." I said, my voice raising before I knew it.

"Well, that's the beauty of just jumping into things. There is no plan. It's just life. Something you haven't quit learned how to live yet." Damon said, his voice, also getting louder...the usual sarcasm bleeding out of every word he said.

Everyone was silent as a statue, staring at us. No one, not even Klaus knew what to say. I stood up and so did Damon.

"I haven't learned how to live life. I've been through more than most people my age. I think I know plenty about life." I said. I was shouting.

"Life isn't all about tragedy, Elena. Sometimes it's good to laugh, let go, be irresponsible. Sometimes it's nice to not have a plan!" Damon said, slamming down the glass he was holding. I stormed off from the table and made my way outside. Damon was out there in a flash and he grabbed my arm.

"Let go of me." I yelled.

"No! No! I won't let go!" He gripped my arm tighter and I pushed him hard enough for him to crash into his car parked outside. He came back grabbed my again and turned me around.

"What is wrong with you!? Just tell me, Elena!" Damon was furious. I could see it on his face. He was beyond sarcasm and witty banter. He was angry.

I leaned over and began to sob. I hated the emotions that came with being a vampire. If I wasn't laughing so hard it hurt then I was crying so hard I didn't think it would stop. I felt him grab my shoulders and lift me.

"Please tell me." He said softly now.

"You really like Lacey?" I asked.

His eyes widened. It seemed to be the last thing he thought he would hear.

"Yes." He said lightly. "You told me to move on. So, I'm trying Elena." His face was soft and sad. He watched me cry lightly but his face seemed to cringe with every whimper that came out of me.

"Is that what's upsetting you?" He asked. I knew the look on his face very well. Beyond the disbelief and the worry. I saw hope. He was giving me a chance to change it. To tell the truth. I thought about it for a moment. I just knew there was no way that I could be responsible for ever breaking his heart again. I just couldn't. He was trying to be happy and look where I was. If any body needed to leave Mystic Falls it was me. So, I did what I absolutely thought was right and I lied.

"No, Lacey is nice. I'm glad you found somebody." I said.

"Okay. So what's wrong then?" Damon said, looking somewhat disappointed.

"Lacey told me today that there was some kind of agreement between you and Stefan that whoever I didn't pick would leave Mystic Falls. I just...I don't want to lose you." I said. I wasn't even fully done with the sentence before he hugged me close.

"Elena." He said, his voice was quiet and smooth. "Remember when I told you that I would never leave you again?" He asked.

"Yeah." I sniffled.

"Well I meant it. I wont ever leave you, unless you ask me too." He said.

He let go and smiled at me. I wiped under my eyes. "I cannot go back inside. I'm so embarrassed." I laughed. Damon and laughed and tossed his car keys to me.

"Take my car home. I'll just remind them that you're a new vampire and these things happen. They'll understand." He said.

"Thanks, Damon." I said getting into the car. He waved and walked back toward the house. I noticed right as I was pulling out of the driveway that Stefan was standing on the porch trying to figure out what was going on. I already knew I was in for it. He would definitely want to know what was going on tonight.

Sure enough, about fifteen minutes after I got back to the Boarding House Stefan showed up. I was sitting on the bed looking over some biology homework and drinking a glass of scotch. He came in and kind of nodded at me. He sat down on the edge of the bed. I could tell after a minute he was waiting for me to say something first.

"I'm sorry about tonight." I said. "I guess my emotions get the best of me sometimes." I tried to laugh casually.

"Are you in love with Damon?" He asked.

I almost dropped the glass of scotch I was holding. I looked up at him. His face was calm but the question was burning bright in the air. I closed the biology book and and put the glass down.

"Stefan. I love you." I said.

"That's not what I asked, Elena. I want to know if you're in love with Damon." He said again.

"Why are you even asking that?" I said trying to act offended by the question.

He looked away up towards the ceiling as he leaned back.

"Well let's see. There was once a time when we relied on each other. We talked to each other. There were no secrets between us. Things just feel different now. I think the only thing that has changed is Damon. Plus, that fight that broke out tonight. There's a fine line between anger and passion." Stefan said looking back at me.

I sighed. "The truth is Stefan. You went with Klaus to save Damon's life and that was noble and it was heroic. As much as I understand why you did it, it still doesn't change the fact that you were gone, Stefan. I tried, repeatedly to get you and bring you home but you refused. You told me to go home, to forget about you. You killed so many people, almost me included. You said some of the most hateful things and I know you were forced into all this. I know that and I'm so sorry you were. For both of us I am so sorry. But …..it was Damon that was there to pick up all the pieces. He was the one who was there. He was the one wiping my tears every time you hurt me. And before you say he was just moving in because you were gone...no. No, because Damon looked for you constantly and he tried repeatedly to get you back as well. He almost died trying Stefan. At one point he thought he had lost you for good and I'll never forget the pain on his face.

I chose you Stefan. I chose you because I love you. I've always loved you and I know we've grown apart a little lately but look at what's happened. But just because I made that choice doesn't mean I can just un feel anything for Damon. Eventually it will fade but for now, yeah, I can't just forget everything that happened while you were gone." I said.

He nodded and looked at me. There were tears in his eyes and it broke my heart. I was a monster.

Two weeks went by. It was a redundant two weeks. I went to school, Stefan and Klaus worked on the maps and I watched Damon develop the first real relationship I'd ever seen him in. One where he openly felt something and it wasn't just based on sex, personal gain or revenge. Even worse. I realized that Lacey...was actually a nice girl. She was funny, smart, witty and of course inhumanly gorgeous. I started talking to Stefan more and trying to get back to being closer. I tried to ween myself off of blood sharing with Damon and went back to blood bags. It didn't work. I tried Stefan's way and went hunting. Damon found me curled up in the bathroom, drenched in blood. I got sick the most off of animal blood. He helped me clean it up. Got me a change of cloths and then he sat patiently with me in his bathroom while I slowly took down fresh blood.

The time came when Stefan, Klaus and Lacey left to go to Atlanta to talk to some friends that may have known more about the hunters. They all left early Friday morning. I went to school and had a relatively good day other then Caroline was acting a little strange. I tried to get her to talk but she dodged the subject and I didn't even see Tyler.

I went straight to the boarding house after school and went upstairs. I changed cloths and heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said.

Damon opened the door and leaned on the door frame. "So the parents are out of town, wanna have a party?" Damon grinned. I laughed and shook my head.

"No – can- do. I have a test to study for." I said.

"But that's all the way on Monday." Damon whined.

"Damon, it's big. I have to make sure I know this stuff." I told him. I sat down at Stefan's desk and pulled out my books just to drive it home that I had stuff to do.

"Fine. You suck. Well, I'm going to be gone tonight then. I'm going to that club right outside of town. Gotta restock all of this." He said presenting his body.

I laughed and shook my head. "Well, behave yourself. Be careful."

"You can always change your mind." He said, before he turned and left.

I tried to study for about an hour when I suddenly realized, I deserved to go out and have some fun. I closed my book, it could wait till the next day. I jumped up and pulled out a cute little black and gold dress and slipped on some heels. I ran down stairs.

"Hey, Damon!" I called.

He came out of his bedroom and walked to me.

"Well well well. You look way to amazing to just be studying." Damon said, taking in my dress.

"Take me with you." I smiled.

"Gladly." He said.

Damon looked particularly edgy and smelled amazing as we left the house. We pulled out of the driveway, tires spinning and the windows all the way down. He turned the radio up and we headed out full speed ahead. We sang a few songs as loud as we could and then we arrived. It was a small dodgy nightclub on the edge of town called Mitch's. We walked in and I instantly noticed about fifteen girls staring at Damon. Damon took my hand and led me to the bar. He ordered two beers and handed me one. He instantly insisted we chug it and then he led me out onto the dance floor.

The music was pumping and we danced for hours. Every once and while Damon would disappear for a few minutes, I knew he was feeding but then he came back. At one point the lights were dark and music was loud and Damon and I were touching from almost head to toe as we danced. He turned me around and wrapped his arms around my waist as we moved. I felt those annoying butterflies and I laid my head back on his chest. Although we were surrounded by a crowd of people, I felt like we were alone. When I turned back around we caught each others eye and I couldn't unlock my gaze from the blue of his eyes. Several drinks and tons of dancing later Damon leaned in to ask if I wanted to get out of there and go back to the house. I nodded and we made out way back out into the quiet night. The drive home was quiet. Very very quiet. It was just the wind, whipping through our hair and the light of the moon.

We got back to the house. I hung my cardigan up and turned to look at Damon.

"I had such a great time." I smiled. "I honestly don't remember the last time I had so much fun."

He smiled. "I'm glad it was fun."

"Well, I'm about to head to bed. I'm kind of hungry...do you mind before I go?" I asked.

"Oh, I kind of forgot. You haven't had anything today. Come on." He said, walking to his room.

I got in my usual spot on his bathroom counter. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off. He walked up between my legs and I leaned into his neck and drank. As I bit in I felt him pick my wrist and I felt the pinch as he bit in as well. We drank for a moment and then he tilted my chin and bit into my neck. I felt so good, it rushed through my body. I sighed. He pulled away and his face was only inches from mine. I took in the finest beautiful details of his face. How his eyes were so blue and his dark lashes were long enough to cast shadows on his cheek bones. His lips were perfect and full. I realized, that I was tired of trying not to love him and trying not to want him. I couldn't do it anymore. I crashed my mouth into his and kissed him deeper then ever before. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as we kissed wildly. He laid me down on the bed and he pulled my dress off. He kissed from my chin, to my neck, to my chest, to my stomach, where he bit in the tiniest bit. It was enough for me to groan on accident. He was back to my mouth and the rest of everything was getting pulled off and dropping to the floor. We began to move in quick blurred movements, biting into each other, draining, moving onto another spot. We had blood smeared all over and then he laid me down on my back and he leaned over, looking in my eyes.

"Do you want this?" He whispered.

"Yes." I told him. "Damon?" I said.

He looked at me, his piercing blue eyes connecting with mine.

"I love you." I said. His face was stricken with what at first looked like pain but then he smiled.

"I love you too." He said. He kissed me and it became wild again until I felt him and I couldn't help but to gasp. We spent the rest of the night all over each other, there wasn't an inch of him that I wanted to miss. I never wanted to miss it again.

Later on when I was finally drifting off to sleep in his silent sleeping arms, I suddenly thought about when two particular people were coming back. Two people I forgot completely about. Stefan and Lacey.

**Please oh please leave reviews, as usual I like to get in several before moving on. I have some crazy stuff coming up. Let me know how you like it. :D Thanks for reading. -aj**


	4. Chapter 4

It was a sleepless night as I thought about everything that happened and tried to make sense of how I felt. Before I even realized it the darkness of the night had turned pale purple in the large windows of Damon's room. He woke and turned to look at me, his brows instantly pulling together as he spotted trouble on my face.

"You think it was a mistake." He stated simply, his voice low and raspy with sleep.

I pulled the covers tightly around me and turned to face him.

"I think I don't know what to do. I think that this will hurt Lacey and devastate Stefan. I think we don't really need this right now with everything going on-but I know it isn't a mistake, Damon." I told him.

He nodded and sighed. " Well, I know you well enough to know you have a plan. So go ahead, give it to me." He said, sounding disappointed before the answer.

"I just think we need to carry on like normal, Damon. At least until things die down. Then we'll figure this out." I said.

"When do things die down around here, Elena? There's never a right time. You know this is about Stefan. Isn't it always about….Stefan." Damon said Stefan's name with such dark resentment it made me worry.

"What about Lacey? You don't care about her?" I asked.

Damon turned on his back and stared at the celling as he thought.

"Actually, I do. But I've told you before…I'm in love with you. So it doesn't change much." He said.

We laid in silence until the hum of my cell began going off. We could both hear it was coming from the living room. I got up reluctantly and made my way to the phone seeing that I had a missed call from Stefan. I went up to Stefan's room to find some cloths to slip on when a voicemail popped up from him. I listened to it and it was informing me that he would be home soon. I got on some cloths and made myself comfy at the desk and began studying. Trying my best to look natural. I felt like my face was screaming confessions about Damon. Soon enough I heard them approaching the house. I could tell as they got inside it was Stefan and Lacey. I made my way downstairs and hugged Stefan, pulling back quick enough to avoid a kiss. Damon came sauntering down the hallway and Lacey squealed and ran up to hug him. He was jerked forward by her into a tight squeeze and I couldn't help but notice his glance at me over her shoulder.

"So, did you find anything interesting?" I asked Stefan as he pulled off his coat and hung it up.

"Not much unfortunately. We have a suspicion that a couple of Klaus' original siblings may be involved."

"Well, If that's the case we'll never find it." I said.

"I wouldn't give up on it that easily. The originals put their faith in a lot of the wrong people. It's bound to turn up." Lacey said as her and Damon joined us in the living room. We all sat down and I watched Lacey curl tightly against Damon on the couch, striking up a stab jealousy that nearly took my breath away.

"Well, if it can't be found then that's too bad. But don't fret Elena I've been a vampire for centuries and I'm doing just fine." Damon rolled out his usual sarcasm.

I laughed quickly but stopped at Stefan looked annoyed and even Lacey perked up strangely glancing at Damon and then me.

"I just thought of something we need to do." Lacey said. "Now that we are suspecting one or more originals of being involved against Klaus I should do a spell to make sure none of you have been compelled. Damon, you and Elena are both safely inside the house so I'm going to need both of your daylight rings." She said, reaching out to take mine. I slid off my finger apprehensively and glanced at Damon. He shrugged and pulled his off and handed it to her.

"What kind of juju are you planning on conjuring up here? I don't generally deal with witchcraft this early in the morning." Damon teased.

Lacey laughed as she settled on her knees by the coffee table. She set both rings in front of her and concentrated on them for a few quiet moments. Then she slid our rings off the table and into her hands.

"Okay Damon you're first. I'm going to put you in somewhat of a daze. It will wear off quickly but in the mean time I'll be looking through your memories of the last couple of days, just to make sure you weren't compelled and forgot about it. Damon's face took on a look of panic and he glanced at me for a split second. It was long enough for me to realize what she was about to see. Damon put his hand up in protest but she ignored it and just as he began to stand up she waved her hand over his face and simply said "Sleep."

My stomach was twisting and my heart was sinking. I looked over at Stefan as he concentrated on her spell as she quietly placed her hands under Damon's chin. She closed her eyes. The screaming in my head was a jumble as I asked for a miracle, hoped that somehow she would over look last night. It wasn't long she released her hands from Damon's face and she back up. He was already coming too but it was too late. I could tell by her face she knew exactly what had happened. She stood and stared at him in horror and then she turned and looked at me. I couldn't help but to drop my eyes quickly to my lap.

"What's going on?" Stefan asked, seeing the horror on Lacey's face and the awkward silent stares from the rest of us.

"I have to go." Lacey said. She stormed out of the door slamming it behind her with the highest human strength.

"Can somebody tell me what's going on?" Stefan asked.

Damon stood up and rubbed his temples still trying to come out of the spells haze. "I made out with some girl at a bar last night. I guess it wasn't witchy girlfriend approved." Damon said.

Stefan shook his head. "Great Damon, that's all we need is to lose the witch thanks to yet another one of your selfish antics."

"Well, were gonna have to find her." Damon said.

"You're going to try to apologize?" I asked, wondering if it would make it worse.

"No, I'm not. I just need to get our rings back." Damon gestured to the empty table where we last saw our daylight rings. "I told you, I don't trust witches. This is what happens when you do." He said walking out of the room.

**I'm sorry for the short chapter and the major delay. I'm pretty busy these days working on an original novel called The Waiting Place. Ive been asked several times if I have a Tumblr so I made a new one just for writing. So if you would like to check out the first chapter to my novel please visit my tumblr . It wont post on her so PM me for the info or email me at Lexnation15 at Gmail and follow me if you would like, and please let me know how you feel about it! **** It's a love story, made in an unlikely place. Thanks so much to all the readers that have followed my work. **


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